I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize