Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
