That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
