If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
