so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize