Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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