do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
