If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
