I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i came on her dog
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
