sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
