I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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