Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
