Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
