...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
