It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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