totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
