How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
