Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
