I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize