and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
