That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
