You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
