I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
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