idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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