my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
