Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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