just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
