"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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