Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Plan B is the new Plan A
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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