im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Randomize
