just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
