i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
