So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
