i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize