he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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