this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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