i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
