Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
