they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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