So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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