Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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