Me. At least after what I've been through.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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