there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
