We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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