As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
