Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
