the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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