why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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