The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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