i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
