This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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