you guys were way drunker than both of me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
