I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
