I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
