he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
