Your tits are I can't wait for
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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