Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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