I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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