TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
